Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

As Big Daddy once said, maybe they should have called it "Ass-Kick".

Considering how much I enjoyed the first, I have to say I was really disappointed in Kick-Ass 2.  The quickest summary I can offer is to say that it's an example of a sequel made by someone that didn't quite understand what made the first one work.  It's not even a case of sequelitis where they tried to one up everything.  It follows a similar formula to the first, but the whole time you can't shake the feeling that it's missing something, like Nic Cage.  Say what you want about Nic Cage these days, but he was the highlight of Kick-Ass, and what does it say about your film when adding Nic Cage would have been an improvement?

Kick-Ass 2 picks up in a logical progression after the first.  Dave, a.k.a. Kick-Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), has hung up his tights, but has inspired many others to also take to the streets as superheroes.  He decides to get back out there himself, but realizes he needs some actual training to be more effective.  He enlists Mindy, a.k.a. Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), to help him and wants them to become a crime-fighting duo.  Hit-Girl is still at the top of her game as she won't give up as a promise to her Dad.  However, after being caught by her guardian (Morris Chestnut), she promises him that she'll give up crime fighting and give normal life a chance.

Meanwhile, still upset over the death of his father, Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) rebrands himself as "The Mother Fucker".  Nope, that's not a joke, but it's an example of some of the failed attempts at them throughout.  The Mother Fucker wants to be the world's first super villain, and assembles a group of villains to counter Kick-Ass' team of heroes.  However, his only real goal is to get revenge.  Theres a throwaway line about having a larger plan, because all super villains needs to have a master plan, but there's nothing to it and it all takes a backseat to the revenge plot.  Since he's only after Kick-Ass, but not the world at large, he never feels like that much of a threat and the stakes aren't all that high.

While all of this is going on, Mindy is attending slumber parties, trying out for the cheerleader squad, and then dealing with bitchy high school girls.  Tonally, this feels like a completely different movie that has little to do with the main plot happening around her.  If Kick-Ass 2 had been called Hit-Girl and was completely focused on her attempts to be normal and then getting back in the game, then I think it would have worked better.  She's the most interesting character in the film anyway.  Instead we have all of these different plot threads going on and are introduced to a bunch of new characters that aren't given much screen time.

Considering all the characters and plot threads, it felt like this would have been great a TV show stretched out over a season or two.  This way you can get to know all the minor characters and are given reason to care about them.  From what I'm reading online, Kick-Ass 2 is based of both the Kick-Ass 2 and Hit-Girl series (12 issues total), and writer/director Jeff Wadlow was pretty faithful to the comics.  However, the fact that it was 12 issues brings me back to the point that this being made into a series might have been a good idea.  I'm thinking Hit-Girl in a Buffy the Vampire Slayer type show.

Another reason why Hit-Girl is the most interesting is due to Chloe Grace Moretz.  She's got a lot of charisma and carries all of her scenes.  There are moments where you actually feel for her character and her struggle to balance her life.  I didn't mind Aaron Taylor-Johnson, but the issue is that Kick-Ass really isn't that compelling of a character, especially when compared to the first film.  I felt like they were both trying their hardest at times to give something to their roles, but it's difficult when their motivations are all over the place.  They give up or get back into crime fighting on a whim.  When Kick-Ass pleads with Hit-Girl to join him, she says stuff like, "You just don't get it" or "You wouldn't understand".  Well, explain it to us then, because I don't get it and I don't understand.  You didn't have a problem sneaking around behind your guardian's back before, so why is it such an issue now?

For all the stuff we heard about Jim Carrey's role and issues with the movie, he's really not in it all that much or much of a focus on the story.  It's a violent role for sure, but I find it odd he didn't have issues with it while making the movie, especially when it looked like he appeared to have fun with it.  I was also bummed out that Donald Faison was added to the cast and not given more to do.  As a huge fan of Scrubs, I know how funny he can be, so I was disappointed in his lack of screen time.  Christopher Mintz-Plasse had some good moments as The Mother Fucker, particularly when playing off John Leguizamo, but again, it felt like there were a lot of opportunities to do more with the character that were missed.  Some of the roles from the last film were recast, and Dave's girlfriend, Katie (Lyndsy Fonseca), is written out of the story within a few minutes.  They break up and Dave doesn't seem the least bit conflicted by this.  In fact, he moves on to another girl (Lindy Booth) at the first opportunity.

Where the first Kick-Ass had a certain wit about it, that was completely missing here.  I didn't find anything funny at all, and the dialog was so flat throughout.  There's no witty banter or sarcastic comments, and that was desperately needed.  Some of the humor came from the fact that you're watching an 11-year-old brutally and gleefully murder bad guys.  However, Hit-Girl is now 15 and a pro at this, so that novelty has worn off.  Plus, the violence felt creative the first go around, but here it just felt like standard action movie stuff.  It also didn't feel as realistic or that there was as much consequence to it.  Kick-Ass was over his head when he first started crime fighting and took a lot of punishment as a result; you don't see that here.  Both films relied too much on CG blood, but it stood out as more of a flaw in Kick-Ass 2.

At least Kick-Ass isn't using Myspace anymore.  He's got Facebook account now.  Even the Mother Fucker posts his exploits on Twitter.

Missing all the wit, charm, or genre deconstruction of the first, Kick-Ass 2 is a disappointing sequel.  It's not the worst thing I've seen this summer, but it could have been so much better.  The tone of the film is all over the place and there are too many undeveloped characters and plot threads.  The end result is just a generic action film.  Save it for rental.

2 (out of 5) Death Stars

Identity Thief (2013) - Movie Review

The real thievery is the money the filmmakers try to take from your wallet.

As someone that's had his identity stolen at least three times and used for some kind of credit card fraud (that's not an exaggeration), I can tell you that it's certainly no fun to deal with.  I've been fortunate that every time it's been something I've been able to clear up with a few phone calls, and I've never once had to involve the authorities.  You'd be surprised at how much the stores, banks and credit card companies will take care of for you. Granted, I didn't have the same extremes and nightmare stories that some of you have heard about, or like what the 'fake' Sandy Bigelow Patterson (Melissa McCarthy) does here in Identity Thief.

Lots of spoilers ahead, but it's hard to spoil a film that's so predictable.

We aren't just talking about some fake credit cards and running up some charges either. She's getting arrested and making large purchases (like cars), too.  Meanwhile the real Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman), is a hard working accountant, with a wife (Amanda Peet), two cute kids (real-life sisters Mary-Charles and Maggie Elizabeth Jones), and a baby on the way.  He has a horrible boss (Jon Favreau), but gets some good news when a co-worker (John Cho) offers him a fat new job at a new company he's starting.  The good news is short-lived though, as the Denver authorities (led by Morris Chestnut) inform him that he's under investigation for fraud and skipping out on court dates in Florida.

Identity Thief already takes a bad turn at this point with this contrived, implausible setup.  Even though they pull the mug shot, and see that it's clearly not him that's committed these crimes, he's still under investigation.  Also, for some reason, his boss says he has to fire him unless he can clear up the charges.  Again, remember it's clear to everyone at this point that the 'real' Sandy Patterson is not the one that did these things.  'Real' Sandy is aware of 'fake' Sandy's whereabouts, but the Denver police say there's nothing they can do, which is absolutely not true in reality.  They also say they can't even call the Winter Park, Florida authorities to pick her up (also totally not true).  Huh?  So, 'real' Sandy says he'll fly down to Florida, pick up the 'fake' Sandy and bring her back to Denver.  The cops actually agree this is a good idea.  What?  Yes, send an accountant to act as a bounty hunter.  Makes perfect sense, right?

What's funny about the how the little the police are able to do here, is that later in the film, the Sandy's are forced to steal another person's identity (but it's okay because it's an asshole, one-percenter, so he deserves it), as part of their bonding adventures. Yet, just a few hours later the St. Louis police are arresting them for fraud.  So, the Denver and Winter Park police can't do anything despite multiple offenses, but the St. Louis police are on them after just one?  Is Identity Thief saying that the St. Louis police are just that much better, or were they so quick to respond because this time the stole from a one-percenter? Wait a second, I'm giving the film way too much credit for trying to say something.

A lot of times I talk about shutting off your brain and just enjoying a film, but Identity Thief is the type of film where the filmmakers have to assume your brain is already shut off to accept anything that happens.  The movie contradicts itself all over the place, and people don't react to things like normal people do.  This wouldn't have been so bad if the movie had actually been funny.  I was surprised at how few laughs there were.  If you've seen the trailer, then you've already seen every funny scene in the film, and they play out even less funny in the film.  If you've seen the trailer twice, then you've now laughed more times than you will when actually watching Identity Thief.  The humor is mean-spirited, one-note (how many times can you make the joke that Sandy is a 'girls name'), and much of it felt like bad improv.

One of the biggest fails of the movie is that they actually try to make Melissa McCarthy's character a likable person.  There's even a makeover scene where she walks into the room in slow motion and Jason Bateman is like, "Wow!"  Then, they make 'real' Sandy conflicted as to whether or not to still turn her in, and says she's not a bad person.  Sandy, can I talk to you for a second?  I can safely tell you that she is a terrible person.  She's a violent sociopath that ruins people's lives.  Are you already forgetting that her ruining of your life is why you're on this ridiculous adventure in the first place or that she's physically attacked you multiple times?  You've only been with her a few days, so you couldn't have possibly bonded that much.  Even taking the bonding out of the equation, do you really think she's reformed and truly remorseful after a just few days when she's clearly a career criminal with no conscience up to this point?

Did I mention yet that Identity Thief is almost two hours?  The length really hammers home how few genuine laughs there are. It could have easily been edited down to 90 minutes without difficulty due to all of the extraneous characters and subplots that didn't add anything to the story.  For example, you've got a duo of lousy hitmen (Genesis Rodriguez and T.I.) after 'fake' Sandy because of some fake credit cards she sold to a mobster, and now he's in jail.  It's interesting to note that this mobster is in jail because of her fake credit cards, but they can't seem to track down the 'elusive' Sandy for the same thing.  Plus, now her list of offences includes selling fake credit cards to the mob.  Then, there's a bounty hunter (Robert Patrick) after her that's portrayed as a bad guy, but he really isn't considering who he's after.  There's also a silly detour involving Sandy hooking up with a cowboy (Eric Stonestreet).  It's all supposed to add to the hi-jinx, but it just drags the movie down.  It's sad because I like the supporting cast, but removing all these extra characters and subplots might have actually helped you buy into 'fake' Sandy's redemption and their bonding on this road trip.

This time? YES!

Speaking of liking the cast.  I've always liked Jason Bateman, but once again he plays the same, ineffectual character that lets people walk over him and can't get shit done.  As the movie went on, I actually started to dislike his character more and more.  I just couldn't buy into the fact that he started to sympathize with her in any way.  While this felt like a vehicle for Melissa McCarthy to show off her comedy chops, I don't think she did herself any favors here either.  However, I do think both of these two will come out of this relatively unscathed since we all like them.  It's not even an issue with either of their performances, it's more that they wasted two talented people with a terrible script and poorly written characters.  Also, because I like Bateman and McCarthy so much, I kept trying to give the film a pass.  Then I thought, what if this film starred Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler?  Would I be so forgiving then?

There's nothing original about Craig Mazin's screenplay, and the story itself is extremely predicable. The lack of originality and meanness of the script isn't a surprise since Mazin co-wrote on films like The Hangover Part II (which was basically the same story The Hangover with small substitutions), Scary Movie 3 and 4 and Superhero Movie.  So much is recycled that they use the same M.I.A. song twice in the movie. That same song that also appears in the trailer for the other Melissa McCarthy movie with Sandra Bullock coming out this summer (and that looks just as bad as this).  Anyway, I'm more surprised that Identity Thief was directed by Seth Gordon, who directed the much funnier Horrible Bosses, as well as several episodes of funny shows like Modern Family, The Office, Community and Parks and Recreation.  I don't understand how he didn't see that the comedy in this didn't measure up to other work he's done and how much of the story was so unnecessary.  He couldn't have brought in some of the Horrible Bosses writers to punch up the script or something?

It's early in the year, but Identity Thief has a lock on one of the worst films of 2013.  It wastes a talented cast with an implausible setup, predictable story, and lame, recycled humor.  It's dull and a real chore to watch, and I found myself growing angry with it the longer it dragged on.  I advise you to pass on Identity Thief, but I know that based on people involved some of you still want to see this.  If you really can't resist, please save it for rental.

1 (out of 5) Death Stars