Black Mass (2015)

Black Mass is one of those movies that I really look forward to. Even from the trailer, you can see it checks all of the boxes: movie about a real gangster, set in the 70's, a great cast and great actor diving deep into the main role. Black Mass delivers on all of this. Mostly...

Black Mass, from this point in the review will be abbreviated to BM, which will certainly not cause any confusion with anything else, starts off with great dialog and a compelling story. I had no familiarity with Whitey Bulger before seeing BM, but it took no time at all to get into it. The story builds and builds, but then due to the nature of how the real life events played out, it loses steam towards the end. I won't spoil it here, but if you're familiar with Whitey Bulger, you might already know what I'm referring to. It doesn't necessarily ruin the movie necessarily, but it's an unsatisfying climax.

Welcome back, Johnny Depp. We missed you. After a series of shitty movies and silly roles, it's nice to see Depp return to serious acting. He's freaking fantastic and unrecognizable at times. Colored contacts usually weird me out, but here they were used to great effect. It really made his performance of Bulger that much more chilling and creepy. Don't be surprised if gets nominated come awards time. Joel Edgerton is great as well (supporting actor nod?). Just when I thought The Gift was the best I've seen him, he takes it to another level here. Jesse Plemons also really surprised me at well. The cast overall is fantastic. It's so stacked that there just isn't enough time to dedicate to everyone. How often can you say that guys like Benedict Cumberbatch, Kevin Bacon and Corey Stoll were underused?

BM also does one of my favorite things where at the end they show you pictures of the real people, and in some cases you'll see how much they really nailed the casting and look. They also use this to wrap up the loose ends to the story that they don't show you in the film.

Overall, Black Mass is an entertaining gangster drama and worth watching just for Johnny Depp's performance as Whitey Bulger. It's nothing you haven't seen before, but totally worth a matinee. If you wait for video, it would make a good double feature with The Departed or The Town.

3.5 (out of 5) Death Stars

The Lone Ranger (2013)

"My favorite part was when the horse drank a beer and burped" - My 5-year-old nephew.

This is the kind of humor you can expect from The Lone Ranger, Disney's latest resurrection of an old character that nobody was asking for.  You also get to see things like a grown man having his head dragged through fresh horseshit, and Tonto repeatedly attempt to feed a dead bird as a gag.  You might think then that The Lone Ranger is a movie geared towards kids.  Well, it also features a scene of the main villain eating someones heart (although its not seen clearly), many people are shot several times, and others are brutally killed when thrown from moving trains while watching their bodies hit the ground and violently roll away.  The disconnect in tone makes it really hard to pin down exactly what kind of movie it was supposed to be or whom it's meant for.  Brutal violence juxtaposed with childish attempts at humor.  This is a Disney film?  If you're expecting family entertainment, you might have to be careful depending on what you want your kids to see.

I realize I'm being a bit of a hypocrite here as I saw The Lone Ranger with my 5 and 8-year-old nephews (and their mother), but they cut their teeth on the Indiana Jones movies, which also feature scary moments and brutal violence, so we knew that The Lone Ranger wasn't anything they wouldn't be able handle.  The younger of the two slept through most of the film anyway, so it really captivated his attention.  Oh, and don't think for a second that The Lone Ranger is in the same league as the Indiana Jones series.  Well, maybe except for The Crystal Skull.  I'm still irritated with how bad that movie was.

Anyway, my older nephew said his favorite parts were "that crazy horse" and "all the train parts", and that's really the strength of the film.  It's bookended with two pretty entertaining scenes, although I thought the final one was a little much.  That leads into one of the other main problems of the film in that it's way too long.  In between these two action scenes is two hours of meandering backstory, undeveloped side characters, and just general nothingness.

When watching The Lone Ranger, it will feel like something that was assembled together from various parts of other films.  At times it's a serious western, then it's a buddy cop film; there's undeveloped mystical elements, and a shoehorned love interest.  I get the vibe that even the writers (and there were three of them)  and director Gore Verbinski weren't sure what type of film they wanted to make, so they just tried a little bit of everything and hoped that something would stick.

Within the plot - what little there is of one - there didn't seem to be any concept of time or distance.  Characters appear when convenient or needed by the script.  Early in the film, you see Tonto in a jail cell, but in the very next scene, he's not only out of jail, but he's caught up with people that have been on horseback for several hours.  A character even asks Tonto how he got out of jail, only to not answer the question.  Just because you acknowledge the inconsistency to the audience, it doesn't let you off the hook for it, especially if you don't even bother to answer your own question.

Adding to this, I'm not even sure why this was called The Lone Ranger.  It's really all about Tonto.  The story is told from his perspective, you get more of his backstory, and he's the only competent one that does anything effective.  I get that they were trying to capitalize on Johnny Depp's star power and the Pirates connection, but while Depp is one of the only good things about the film, Tonto doesn't have any of the charm of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Armie Hammer as "The Ranger", is more of a secondary character.  He's never all that interesting or compelling.  This isn't the fault of Hammer or his performance - I like Armie Hammer - it's just not very well written.  They don't give you any reason to think he's a badass or even a capable hero.  In fact, they make a point of stating several times that he's not a fan of guns and refuses to use them on multiple occasions.  Yet every time he does shoot a gun, he hits his target perfectly.  He does this on accident at times, so you don't see where any skill comes in.  Tonto states he cannot be killed in battle, but never really delve into that either.  However, they do show you that both he and Tonto and superheroes.  In that early action scene, they are thrown from a speeding train and you see them roll around at high speed.  You see others in the film die from this, but after they are just sitting there without a scratch on them.  Later in the film, they fall from great heights without any ill effect.  I'm sure this is meant to be ridiculous action like many Summer films, but most films work up to that kind of ridiculousness as the film goes on, or even after a sequel or two.  The Lone Ranger starts with "god mode" turned on.

William Fichtner plays the main villain, and he's one of my favorite scenery chewing actors.  He was the best thing about Drive Angry and was I was able to enjoy that.  He does his usual great work, but he was underutilized.  None of the cast really has all that much to do.  Ruth Wilson, who I loved on Luther, seems to just be in the film to scream a few times and doesn't have much of a character beyond that.  Despite what you see in trailers, Helena Bonham Carter is barely in the film, so if you're expecting something from her, then you're going to be disappointed.  Tom Wilkinson is wasted as well.  Barry Pepper and James Badge Dale round out the supporting cast, but they don't have much going on either.

Before I finish up, I have to mention how hard it was not to type "The Long Ranger" instead of "The Lone Ranger".  I wonder why that is?  "The Long Ranger" sounds like a porn.  I'm sure when the Adult Film community gets around to their version they'll call it that.  If so, I want a cut, or at least a free copy.

I don't think The Lone Ranger is necessarily as bad as I've heard going in, but it's definitely a difficult movie to recommend.  I didn't come out of it absolutely hating it or thinking it was a total waste of time, but it's something I'll never watch again.  There are some entertaining action scenes and Johnny Depp has a few good moments, but it's way too long, and the story and tone are all over the place.  There's just not much to enjoy otherwise.  Depending on your view, it's not even suitable for the family.  It's a movie nobody was asking for and is just a ho-hum, forgettable summer film.  It's a rental.

2 (out of 5) Death Stars

Dark Shadows (2012) - Movie Review

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp team up yet again to take on an old story about a vampire.  However, after watching Dark Shadows, maybe Depp and Burton should take a break from each other for a while.  Come back fresh after a few years.  At least it doesn't feature sparkling vampires...

In what seems to be an increasing trend for me this year, Dark Shadows is based off source material I have no familiarity with at all.  In this case, a daytime soap opera that ran for more than 1,000 episodes from 1966-1971.

Johnny Depp stars at Bananaboat Collins...wait a second, that can't be right.  Bonobo?  Oh, it's Barnabas!  Anyway, Barney is cursed by the witch, Angelique (Eva Green), after breaking her heart.  Hell hath no fury like a witch scorned!  First, she kills Barnabas' parents.  Then, she puts a spell on his lover (Bella Heathcote) and makes her throw herself off a cliff.  This was actually a scene that bugged me.  As Barnabas is running to stop her from throwing herself off the cliff, he stops not once, but twice, to shout her name (for dramatic effect).  Of course, he gets to her just a moment too late.  Hey, I can think of two moments you could have gotten back if you hadn't stopped running!  You can't shout someone's name and run at the same time?  Anyway, Barnabas falls off the cliff after his lover only to survive the fall and discover that he's been turned into a vampire by Angelique.  She's also able to get the town to capture and bury him alive in a coffin.

200 years later, Barnabas is freed and finds that his family's business, fortune and status are all but gone.  He returns to his run down mansion, and introduces himself to his descendants living there.  His town of Collinsport is now controlled by Angelique, who hasn't aged a day being a witch and all, and is responsible for the Collins' decline.  Barnabas decides to rebuild his family business.  Angelique, still crazy and hot for Barnabas, warns him to join with her or she'll make his family suffer.  You'd think after 200 years she'd be over him.  I guess time doesn't heal all wounds, if you're crazy.  Barnabus isn't interested in her though, as the Collins' newly hired governess has caught his eye, who happens to look like his former lover.

Dark Shadows is a very nice looking film, with much of Burton's trademark flair and style.  This is one time where all the gothic and dark themes he normally uses work really well.  I still felt it a little too dark at times, but that's just a personal preference.  My eyes don't always focus well on darker movies.

As you'd might expect, Johnny Depp is the best thing about Dark Shadows.  I read that he was a huge Dark Shadows fan as a kid and was obsessed with the Barnabas character, so you can see how he was heavily invested in the performance and how committed he was.   Roles like this are made for Depp.

Dark Shadows features a great supporting cast, but unfortunately I felt like they are all underwritten and underused.  Some characters disappear for long stretches, and you almost forget they are in the movie.  Initially, Michelle Pfeiffer starts out a stronger character as the matriarch of the modern Collins family, but she's not given much to do as the movie goes on.  The same goes for Chloë Grace Moretz.  Her character is the snarky teen and played with a weird, jailbait-vibe, but then they didn't know what to do with her.  This is really highlighted with what happens with her at the conclusion of the movie.  Jackie Earle Hayley and Helena Bohnam Carter have their moments, but again, both seem kind of thrown in and aren't much more than background characters.  Jonny Lee Miller is barely used and I even heard Johnny Depp made made him remove the 'h' from his name to prevent confusion on set.  What a prima donna!  I might have made up that last part.

Besides Depp, I really enjoyed Eva Green as Angelique.  I found her performance to be very sexy and I almost didn't recognize her as a blonde.  It felt like she was trying to have fun, but I think she played a much better version of the same character in the recent show Camelot.  I also really liked Bella Heathcote, but mainly because I simply like staring at a pretty face.  It's not like she has much to do either.  It's basically the Johnny Depp show.

There's an unevenness in tone throughout the film.  The original Dark Shadows was apparently super serious, but in the movie version they tried to lighten it up a little bit.  This wasn't a bad idea, but they don't commit to it.  You see all of these funny, 'fish out of water' moments in the trailer, but those are pretty much all you get.  It's yet another example of the trailer misrepresenting the movie.  If you were hoping for a comedy or something lighter in tone, you're going to be disappointed.  Because it can't commit to a theme, there's never any real tension, urgency or anything to care about. 

One of the fundamental issues is how you possibly hope to wrap up five years worth of a TV show in just under two hours?  It can't be done and I think it was too much story for writers John August and Seth Grahame-Smith to handle in a single film.  They setup a potential sequel at the end, but it didn't feel earned.  Plus, I doubt there's going to be a sequel at this point anyway.  I only think this would've worked if they had gone into it from the beginning as a planned trilogy or series of movies. 

Overall, Dark Shadows is a very middle of the road movie.  Not terrible, but not good either.  There are entertaining moments here and there, mostly provided by Johnny Depp, but otherwise it's very forgettable.  This is something I don't feel like I ever need to watch again, and I'm already straining to remember anything meaningful about it.  I really can only recommend this to the most diehard Johnny Depp or Tim Burton fans.  It's not a bad rental when it finally comes out on Blu-Ray though.

2.5 (out of 5) Death Stars