Ex Machina (2015)

If you know what the Turing Test is, that's the basic premise here. I was initially bugged by the fact that you can see, even from the commercials, that all parties are aware of what's going on. He knows he's talking to a machine, and she knows she's being tested. That would generally invalidate the whole point of the Turing Test, but they handwave that away right up front by saying they've moved past the blind stage, and they clearly have. This is next level AI here.

As the movie builds, you realize there is more going on than meets the eye. Attraction, manipulation, mind games and ulterior motives. It's creepy and fascinating at the same time. The film takes it's time, but never feels slow. I was glued to the screen to the point where I had to remind myself to blink.

The performances are great. Oscar Isaac is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. Even though the focus is on the AI, he's just as interesting as she is. The AI, Ava, is played by Alicia Vikander and I can't recall her from other films she's been in, but she's able to sell that balance between innocence and sensuality.

The effects are fantastic. It's so seemless at times that you forget it's an effect. I can't imagine that this was a big budget film, so what they were able to accomplish is truly amazing.

Another thing I really enjoyed was the contrast of the cold, artificialness of the inside compared to when they'd venture outside for a talk. Wherever they filmed this was a gorgeous location that seemed like something from another planet at times.

I'm trying to keep it short as I don't want to spoil anything. Overall, I thought it was an intelligent thriller and one of the best sci-fi movies I've seen in a long time. Probably the best film I've seen this year.

5 (out of 5) Death Stars

Danny Collins (2015)

I almost didn't see this because there just wasn't a lot of interest on my part. Then I saw a lot of good reviews and was like, all right, like I have anything better to do on a Sunday.

This is a good example of why I still try to see most everything. You never know when a movie is going to catch you by surprise, and Danny Collins was a pleasant one. First, it winks at the whole 'based on a true story' thing by adding 'sort of' to it, which I thought was a nice touch. Everyone knows these 'based on a true story' movies are heavily embellished. At least they're being honest about it this time.

Al Pacino plays a washed up, Neil Diamond-type singer. He's a coked-up boozer, which I can understand when you hear his first song, a 'Sweet Caroline' soundalike that I would never be able to play or listen to night after night. He's got a girlfriend half his age and extravagant lifestyle that he can't maintain.

The 'true' part of the story is that the folk singer this was based on (someone I've never heard of, or his music) was sent a letter from John Lennon nearly 40 years prior and he never got it. When 'Danny' gets the letter, he laments that his career would have likely gone on a different path had he gotten it when it was originally sent. He tries to clean up, reclaim his art, all while trying to reconnect with his son and family.

It sounds schmaltzy as hell, and it is, but what makes it work is that the dialog is pretty sharp, and the supporting cast is fantastic. It was written and directed by Dan Fogelman, who you'd probably know best for writing Crazy. Stupid. Love. You can really see his influence on the pacing, tone, and overall humor. When Pacino isn't trying to catch up with his family, he's aggressively hitting on Annette Bening at every opportunity. It's the most charming I've seen Pacino be in a long time. He tries his hardest to not play a variation of that over-the-top version of himself we've gotten in his more recent films.

The story wraps up a little too cleanly (much like Crazy. Stupid. Love), but overall I thought it was a fun and entertaining film. A pretty good date movie, in fact. I recommend checking it out.

3.5 (out of 5) Death Stars

Unfriended (2015)

As stupid as the name is, and as bad as the trailer looked, I have to admit that Unfriended wasn't that bad. It's not the least bit scary, but it was surprisingly effective with its gimmick. It also serves as an anti-bullying message. Be nice to people or a cyberghost is going kill you on Skype. I'm not sure that's the product placement Skype is going for.

Did you all see that Modern Family episode a while back where the entire episode was done through FaceTime and various devices? This is pretty much the movie version of that, only with dire consequences.

This would have worked really well as a episode of the Twilight Zone or something similar. It's mercifully short at just 82 minutes, and even then it probably should have been about 10 minutes shorter as it starts to drag a bit towards the end. Tighten up the editing, make time for commercials, and there you go.

I don't think the gimmick is going to hold up even a few years from now, but I'm sure it won't stop a bunch of copycat films. The technology will change and improve, so a lot of the stuff they do here will look really dated. There's a lot of glitching out and video issues used for effect. You'll watch this years from now and go, "It's been forever since my video did that, srsly!" "OMG! Nobody uses Skype anymore! Everyone uses BananaChatDeluxe." Like there's a scene where a character tries to get help from some rando on Chatroulette. Is that still a thing people use?

As far as the characters go, they were all fairly annoying and unlikeable, which for teens is basically the default. The cast itself was fine, and wouldn't be surprised to see a few of these guys pop up in other stuff down the line. As the story unfolds, you realize these aren't the greatest people, so when they start losing their shit over what's happening, it's kind of funny to see and strangely satisfying.

Unfriended isn't something you need to rush out and see in the theater, but I think fun enough to get some friends together and watch MST3K/Rifftrax-style.

2.5 (out of 5) Death Stars

Furious 7 (2015)

Make no mistake about it, Furious 7 is a silly-dumb-bad movie. The story is a mess, the dialog is a joke and the acting made me cringe at times. Is it entertaining though? Yes!

I can't fault a movie whose only goal is to entertain with action scenes. It achieves exactly what it sets out to do. This isn't Oscar bait here. You got a little bit of everything: car chases, karate, lots of 'splosions. They even brought in Ronda Rousey and Tony Jaa to add some additional fight cred. The action is over-the-top ridiculous, and I even laughed more than a few times at the implausibility of it. Doesn't mean it wasn't fun to watch though.

Ugh, the dialog though. So many terrible ways to say they are going to kick someone's ass. Here's a fun drinking game, do a shot everytime someone says "family". You'll die from alcohol poisoning about halfway through. Want a real challenge? Drink any time you notice obvious product placement. The conversation highlight to me was Kurt Russell discussing the merits of belgian beer and trying to switch Vin Diesel to switch from Corona. I don't even like belgian beer all that much, but anything to get people to stop drinking Corona. At least there's that.

For those curious, they do handle Paul Walker's death in a nice way. I won't spoil it, but fans of his (which I have to admit, I never really was one) should feel good about it.

My main disappointment is that The Rock isn't in it that much. Looks like he was on set long enough to get a pump on and his supply of UnderArmor shirts. That's gotta be in his contract or something.

Look, if you aren't already a fan, there's nothing here that's going to make you one. If you've enjoyed the series, especially 5 and 6, then this is just more of it. I'd say 5 and 6 were probably better though.

Bring on Furious 8! Or will they shorten it even further to just 8? F&F8 will be in theaters May 2017.

3 (out of 5) Death Stars

The return of AngryVader...

Or should it be revenge?

So after a long hiatus, I decided to start updating the blog again. I had just gotten burnt out on forcing myself to sit through a series of shitty movies and I was killing myself trying to keep up with it. I'm not a natural writer, so it was taking me dozens of hours a week to keep it updated.

I've been posting short reviews on my Facebook page for a year or so, so I'll basically be cut and pasting that stuff here. They'll be much shorter and a little more based on my feel rathern than nitpicking critique. I always felt like I was talking out of my ass when going on about things like direction and cinematography. Like I have any experience with that stuff.

It should be more fun this time around, so I hope you all enjoy the (new) blog.

Hope to hear from you all...

- Vader

Shutting it down...

I don't mean to be indulgent, but if you're someone that's followed the blog for any length of time, I kind of owe this to you...

I'm shutting down the blog for a bit. Not sure how long: might be a few weeks, might be a few months, might be never, but on another site...

This has always been a hobby for me, but in the past months it's become more of a chore than fun. Writing have never been my strength, and at times it's felt more like homework than anything. Considering the lack of feedback I get, I don't get a lot of reinforcement to keep going.

I enjoyed this a lot more when I wrote half-drunk reviews right after seeing it. It has gotten too serious and not reflected my personality the way I wanted it to. I've always wanted the point of the blog was to feel like you know me. Like you sit next to me at a bar and then talk your ass off for like an hour about movies. That's what happens in real life, but not on the blog. Talking is my strength, not writing, so I want to transition that direction.

If you see me post in the next few weeks, it may be much different than what you normally see from me. I might be a little experimental, maybe just shortening the length. Something like that...

I registered a domain recently, so I'm likely to play around it. So when if return, it'll likely be in a much different format, and on a different site.

For the few of you that communicated with me on some consistent level, feel free to hit me up on Facebook or Twitter. I'm probably more active on Facebook though. My info is on the right...

Anyway, thanks for following along. See you on the other side...

Erik, The Angry Vader, signing out...

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

I can't say the word "rise" without saying like the Emperor. Riiiiiiissse...

300: Rise of an Empire isn't so much a sequel or prequel as it is a side quest. It begins with a little bit of backstory, but much of Rise runs in parallel to the events of 300. They even throw in a few stock shots from 300, in case you needed a reminder of what Gerard Butler looks like or that Michael Fassbender was in it. However, I do find it a little annoying when a film shows you a flashback to something you just saw like 30 minutes ago. I'm not talking about the flashbacks to 300 either. These were flashbacks from this movie.

During the first Persian invasion of Greece, Themistocles (Sullivan Stapleton) fought the Persian forces back, killing King Darius, father of Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro). Before dying, Darius told Xerxes that only the gods can defeat the Greeks. After mourning his death, Xerxes is sent on a quest by their naval commander, Artemisia (Eva Green). He wanders the desert until finding some pool of dark power water that transforms him from a normal looking guy that wears a little too much eyeliner, to the cross-dressing, god king we all know and love. Xerxes returns to conquer Greece once and for all.

Knowing the Persians are returning, Themistocles attempts to unify the Greeks. He heads to Sparta where Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) basically tells him that they are all a bunch of pussies, and let the Spartans do the heavy lifting. Queen Gorgo was much angrier in Rise versus 300. To hear her speak, you'd think she was one of the villains and not one of the good guys. Maybe Headey was channeling a little bit of Cersei Lannister. Then again, it could have just been the dialog, which was pretty terrible, but that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Anyway, so while Leonidas is off to combat Xerxes' army at Thermopylae, Themistocles commands the Greek navy to fight back Artemisia and the Persian navy.

If you like fake blood spraying all over the place, 300: Rise of an Empire has buckets and buckets of it. Computer generated blood has always looked bad, and there are more than few parts in Rise where is looks even worse than normal. Granted Rise is going more for style points than realism, so despite it looking really bad in parts, it didn't bother me all that much. I suppose I'm getting used to it a bit, but I still prefer "real" fake blood over the CG version.

I was more disappointed with the overall quality of effects. It has the same style and aesthetic of 300, but has a cheaper overall look. The colors are so washed out in parts that it was really difficult to tell what's going on. Ships crash into each other leaving you to guess what side they are on. A few of the more complex action scenes had a cartoony, video game look.

Where Rise shines is during the actual swordplay. Themistocles and his fellow soldiers cut through waves of bad guys with a brutal and efficient style. A few times the typical, quick-cut, shaky cam action was a little too much, but it was kept to a minimum. The hand-to-hand action was much easier to follow.

I don't recall seeing Sullivan Stapleton in anything before, but he had a commanding presence. Normally, I'd be concerned when an action film doesn't star a more recognizable actor. He did a good job, and while he didn't quite replicate the physicality from 300, he held his own in that regard. It's interesting to note that the shape he's in seems to change from scene to scene, illustrating how he was likely working out as it was being made. It also shows an example of how films are not shot in order. Rise won't necessarily inspire people to sign up for Crossfit or 300-style workout classes like they way 300 did, but I did leave the theater thinking I should hit the gym on the way home. Swing the sledgehammer against a large tire or something like that.

Most will remember Eva Green's as the best thing about Rise with her cold and vicious Artemisia. She plays it with an awareness of the type of movie this is, and seemed to revel in the role. Plus, she's extremely sexy. That might be me though, I tend to be really attracted to women playing violent, warrior-types.

300: Rise of an Empire has enough gory violence to satisfy your bloodthirst. It's largely nonsense, but still manages to be a lot of fun if you can watch it for the mindless entertainment it is. That's not always a bad thing though. If you're not already an existing fan of 300, then don't expect to get much out this, but fans shouldn't hesitate to catch a matinee.

2.5 (out of 5) Death Stars