Friday, April 3, 2015

Furious 7 (2015)

Make no mistake about it, Furious 7 is a silly-dumb-bad movie. The story is a mess, the dialog is a joke and the acting made me cringe at times. Is it entertaining though? Yes!

I can't fault a movie whose only goal is to entertain with action scenes. It achieves exactly what it sets out to do. This isn't Oscar bait here. You got a little bit of everything: car chases, karate, lots of 'splosions. They even brought in Ronda Rousey and Tony Jaa to add some additional fight cred. The action is over-the-top ridiculous, and I even laughed more than a few times at the implausibility of it. Doesn't mean it wasn't fun to watch though.

Ugh, the dialog though. So many terrible ways to say they are going to kick someone's ass. Here's a fun drinking game, do a shot everytime someone says "family". You'll die from alcohol poisoning about halfway through. Want a real challenge? Drink any time you notice obvious product placement. The conversation highlight to me was Kurt Russell discussing the merits of belgian beer and trying to switch Vin Diesel to switch from Corona. I don't even like belgian beer all that much, but anything to get people to stop drinking Corona. At least there's that.

For those curious, they do handle Paul Walker's death in a nice way. I won't spoil it, but fans of his (which I have to admit, I never really was one) should feel good about it.

My main disappointment is that The Rock isn't in it that much. Looks like he was on set long enough to get a pump on and his supply of UnderArmor shirts. That's gotta be in his contract or something.

Look, if you aren't already a fan, there's nothing here that's going to make you one. If you've enjoyed the series, especially 5 and 6, then this is just more of it. I'd say 5 and 6 were probably better though.

Bring on Furious 8! Or will they shorten it even further to just 8? F&F8 will be in theaters May 2017.

3 (out of 5) Death Stars


  1. Spot on review. I agree about the bad script and the awful dialog. But reading this post made me laugh so that's a good thing.

    1. Haha, thanks! I find I give it a pass for being a 'good' movie. Sometimes, it's all about entertainment.