21 Jump Street - Movie Review

I'm writing this review in utter shock right now.  Why?  Because 21 Jump Street is actually a good movie!  The first time I saw that trailer, I was like, "Are you kidding me?  Another retread of an old TV show!"  I actually thought that trailer was kind of funny though.  However, after seeing it 10-15 times and seeing the same jokes over and over, I started to get the feeling that this was going to be yet another movie that showed you all of the funny moments in the trailer.  Plus, I am really not a fan of Channing Tatum.  Not out of any hate for the man or jealousy, but I just don't think he's a good actor.  Well, 21 Jump Street managed to do the impossible: it actually made me like Channing Tatum.

This is a good example of a movie overcoming the above mentioned point about trailers showing you all the funny stuff up front.  Plus, they ran that trailer in the ground, so it got to a point were it became unfunny and annoying.  However, many of those scenes from the trailer are done in the first 15 minutes of the movie, and even then the actual scenes used with a different line or were edited in a way to make them completely different in the context of the film.

The trailer does a good job of setting up the premise.  Two former high school 'rivals' Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Jenko (Channing Tatum) meet up a few years later in police academy.  When they realize that their skills compliment each other - Schmidt is the brains, while Jenko is the brawn - they decide to work together and develop a genuine friendship.  This is one of the things about 21 Jump Street that surprised me.  It's actually very sweet at times.  When you see Schmidt and Jenko in high school, it wasn't so much to show you that they were rivals (as they weren't really), it was more to illustrate that they were both kind of losers in their own ways.

Anyway, once they become cops, they make a bust, but screw it up.  Due to their 'youthful' appearance, they get reassigned to an undercover program to have them pose as high school kids to 'infatrate' (misspelling intentional, you'll understand why after seeing it) a drug ring.  Once they get to the school, they do what they can to fit in and it all goes from there.

Another aspect of the movie I liked was the whole angle about fitting in and how high school can suck for some people.  As Schmidt had a rougher time in high school, he's looking at this as a chance for him to be cool, especially now that he has Jenko to help him.  On that flip side of that, Jenko quickly finds out that the things that made him cool back in high school don't apply anymore.  This leads to a role reversal with Schmidt now being the cool one where Jenko finds himself being a bit of an outcast.  Later leads to resentment and threatens their friendship, and the thing is that you actually care about their friendship.

There were lots of great 'meta' moments, especially early in the film that let you know that it's not taking itself too seriously.  21 Jump Street actually parodies a lot of things about 80's movies, teen comedies and buddy cop films.  They managed to do a really good job with all of this and keeping it fresh and funny.  Even when ridiculous things happen in this film, you are never insulted by them because it's all so good natured and it's not being passed off as realistic.

As I mentioned earlier, I actually liked Channing Tatum here.  I think they did a great job with his dialog and also having him make fun of himself.  Jonah Hill was fine, but he's basically doing what he does in most of the comedies he's in.  I'm not saying that's a bad thing though.  The supporting cast, many of whom you'll recognize for various comedies (Ellie Kemper, Nick Offerman, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle) are all strong as well.  I was actually expecting to be annoyed by Ice Cube, but I found him to be really funny.  Everyone is great here!

Michael Bacall (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Project X) did another great job with the screenplay.  You can definitely see similar elements in his screenplay as with his previous films.  The story was co-written by Jonah Hill as well.  Good job guys!  This was directed by the team that directed Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs:  Phil Lord and Chris Miller.  I think direction of the action scenes were a little sloppy, but they really got the comedy down, which was the point of the movie anyway.

Underneath it all 21 Jump Street is ultimately about the friendship of Schmidt and Jenko.  It reminded me of the better buddy cop movies of years past, with a pinch of John Hughes thrown in there.  Best of all, it's consistently funny.  I highly recommend checking it out this weekend.

4 (out of 5) Death Stars - 4 might be a little high, but I'm giving it an extra half-Death Star for surprising me.

John Carter - Movie Review

Movies like this are tough for me to write about.  I have no familiarity at all with Edgar Rice Burrough's book series.  In general, you shouldn't have to though because the movie should do a good job of telling you the story.  However, after watching John Carter I think it might have helped to have a little more familiarity with the material.  Although, I've heard from a few fans that the books have many huge differences from this movie, so maybe it wouldn't have helped.  In fact, based on what they've told me, the book sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than this movie ended up being.  While this book series is 100 years old, it's clear how this has influenced other works and the books deserve credit for that.  The problem is that we have seen it all before in other movies and it's been done better.

Be warned that this review is likely to be a little spoilerific, as I can't really explain my problems with the movie without going into a few details about the movie, so if you still plan on seeing this, you may want to skip to the end.

John Carter starts with Edgar Rice Burroughs (as an actual character in the movie) arriving at the funeral for his uncle, John Carter (Taylor Kitsch).  He's presented with one of Carter's journals.  As he reads the journal, you flash back to John Carter from a few years ago.  Carter, a recent widower, is a gold prospector just trying to find a big score and cash in at this point.  He manages to find a cave with gold and a mysterious medallion, but it ends up being some weird alien teleportation device.  Carter then finds himself on Mars (called Barsoom by the natives) where he is met by the Tharks, a race of green, tall, four-armed Martians.  Carter finds that he is able to jump very high and is super strong, essentially making him the ultimate warrior on a planet seemingly filled all kinds of war and conflict.

Then, there are two warring factions of 'Red Martians' (who are really just white people with really bad fake tans and lots of red Henna tattoos).  I was never quite clear of why these two groups were fighting.  The Tharks were apparently staying out of it, content to let the other groups fight it out and they'll take over after.

You finally have the Therns, a race of albinos (were the also Martians?) that can teleport and shapeshift and have superior technology, but are working behind the scenes, pulling everyone's strings.

So you've got all of these factions and species, tons of characters and sub plots.  You'd think it would all be interesting.  Instead, I found it all kind of lifeless and convoluted.  Many of the plot points don't hold up at all under even just a little bit of thought.  Here are some examples:

There's a thread involving the forced marriage of Dejah (Lynn Collins) and 'Kirk Cuddy' from Steel Dragon (Dominic West), but it's clear that his plan is to kill her and her people.  What is there to gain by going through with the wedding if you plan on killing all of them?  You don't need to marry her to do that.  On the other side, why do Dejah's people agree to the marriage when they'd gain more by just killing him?  Plus, Dejah is her people's best scientist, yet also a princess and warrior.  Can you throw a few more character traits in there?

Then, there's stuff like John Carter being a widower at the beginning of the movie.  He's clearly still mourning his family, but falls for Dejah almost instantly and it never felt like he had any reason to other than she's super hot.  When I hear that Carter being a widower wasn't even in the books, it seems like that was another unnecessary character trait thrown in.  The romance would have been easier to believe if he wasn't in mourning.

Another thing that bugged me was the race of albino aliens (which in the books I guess weren't introduced until much later in the series.).  They are everywhere at once and can shapeshift, yet are just trying to manipulate everyone.  For what purpose?  Why not just shapeshift and do it yourself?  You also appear to have superior technology.  Why give it to others?  Use it yourself!

Plus, when 'Sinestro' (Mark Strong, who's wasted here) eventually figures out Carter's powers come from his physiology and being from a higher gravity environment, why is he even surprised by this?  Weren't your people the reason for how the teleportation device got on Earth in the first place?   You see them on Earth both at the beginning and the end of the movie.  So, you had been to Earth, but somehow never encountered a human or bothered to notice the higher gravity there?  Plus, once you figured this out and you're trying to manipulate a war's outcome, why not kidnap the stronger humans and force them to fight in your war?

It just felt like they tried to cram three movies worth of plots and characters all into one movie  As a result, none of it fits very well together and the plot threads and characters aren't developed enough to be invested in any of them.  The movie is already over two hours long, so this really seems like something that should have been split into more than one movie.  I also thought that the movie was poorly edited and that caused some of the issues with having a harder time following what was going on.

I have to wonder what director and co-writer Andrew Stanton wanted to do here.  I'm more surprised than anything.  Granted this is is first live-action feature, but he's been involved in so many great Pixar movies (WALL-E, the Toy Story series, Monsters, Inc.) that I really thought he'd do a better job here.  When I see there were two more writers (Mark Andrews, Michael Chabon), I have to wonder if this is another example of two many cooks in the ktichen and I think it shows with having too many undeveloped plot elements here.

My friend said this reminded him of his disappointment with Tron: Legacy.  While I agree with that, I'm going to stick a little closer to home and say this reminds me a little more of The Phantom Menace.  It looks nice, but you just never feel invested in what's going on or any real threat or urgency.

As far as the look of the movie, I do think they did some interesting world building and there's some good looking action.  When there is action, I thought it was entertaining, but at the same time, I really wasn't invested all that much in the consequences.  I didn't care who was going to win and many times, I didn't even know who was killing who.

Speaking of the design, I'm kind of stealing this next criticism from something I heard on Adam Carolla's podcast recently, but this is something that bugs me about movies like this.  You see giant, technologically advanced machinery, beautiful airships that do all kinds graceful flying maneuvers, some races using advanced weapons and technology, but everyone was still dressed like a gladiator or Roman.  There's still swordplay and some using musket-like rifles.  I'm just not into the whole 'retro-futurism' thing.  It's bugged me in most all movies I've seen that use this style.

I wouldn't call this sci-fi either, but more sci-fantasy.  You pretty much have to throw the science out right away.   First, is the fact that a human can breathe on Mars.  Then, if you understand that Mars is farther away from the Sun, then, you'll also understand that it's colder there, but you see flowing water and everyone is scantily clad.  You multiple sentient races that all developed on the same planet with drastically different biologies and are at different stages of cultural development, yet all seem to speak the same language.  Speaking of, from what I hear in the books, John Carter learns the language of Mars over months, but in the movie, to simplify things he learns the language after drinking some magic water.  Um...okay.  I can suspend disbelief for certain things, but when it happens through pretty much the entire movie, it get's hard (phrasing!)

Despite the good effects and visuals, I didn't think the 3D did anything for the movie.  I saw it on IMAX as well.  Also, maybe it was the IMAX screen I saw it on, or it was just me, but I thought the landscape seemed to have a very unnatural yellow tint it.  Isn't Mars known for being the red planet?  It felt like everything should have had a redder, or rustier look to it.  It appears the 3D was done in post again, so I'd avoid 3D entirely.  When are movie studios going to get through their thick skulls that converted 3D sucks!  Didn't Disney learn from Tron: Legacy's lackluster 3D?

Taylor Kitsch wasn't bad as John Carter, but I didn't find him very interesting.  He was just missing that intangible thing that you needed for the lead.  I think maybe it's that he felt too young for the role perhaps.  I actually thought the performances, both live and voice, were fine for the most part, but again, if I don't really care about the characters, it's hard to care all that much about the performances.  It's not the actors fault though.  It's actually a very strong cast, but they aren't given much to do.

I hear the budget for this was $250 million?  Man, that is a huge investment for a movie that isn't very good.  I know it sounds like I hated John Carter, but I actually didn't.  It's just that despite the great visuals, there's nothing that wowed me here.  I didn't really care about the characters and there are too many plot threads going on for me to be invested in anything.  I've already heard that the director said that very little was edited out of the movie, so it appears we don't have an extended cut that might get into more detail to look forward to.  I'm sure I'll end up watching this again when it comes out on DVD.  It's a rental.

2.5 (out of 5) Death Stars

This Week in DVD - March 13th

Jack and Jill

Wow!  This really was a special kind of bad.  This movie deserves all the hate it gets from audiences and critics.  It's basically Adam Sandler in a dress doing yet another hilariously bad voice.  Where does he come up with this?  It's like a gift!

The sad thing is that the premise actually could have worked if they had actually spent more than 10 minutes coming up with anything funny or even slightly interesting.  The main problem is that both Jack and Jill are just simply unlikable people.  Jill is the type of person who's behavior just doesn't seem based in any kind of reality that I know.  She's dumb, self-absorbed and oblivious.  It's not even that she's unattractive physically, she's an ugly person on the inside, consistently saying stupid and rude things right to people's faces.  I wouldn't want to know her either, so it's no shock that her own brother wants nothing to do with her. Yet, they try to make her sympathetic.

Jack isn't much better though.  He's a smug asshole with no sense of humor and seemingly very little patience for people.  In every exchange he has with Nick Swardson's character when he'd chastise Swardson for making a bad joke poking fun at something obvious that anyone else would have done, I was thinking, "Wow!  You really have no sense of humor.  Only you are allowed to make jokes or be funny, eh."  It's kind of how I felt he was in Grown Ups, where Sandler's character is the most successful, most athletic and coolest of all of his friends.  Even in Just Go with It, he plays a character that's ultra-successful.  I think it's mainly that Sandler is just completely out of touch now.   Even the stupid look on his face in the poster bugs me.

The editing of this movie was terrible, too.  To illustrate an example, there's the scene you've all seen in the trailer where his adopted son punches Jill.  First off, you have to wonder, are you raising your son to be a psychopath?  He punches an adult in the face?  This is acceptable dinner table behavior?  Anyway, in the scene he has a pepper shaker taped to his head.  The problem is that in shot immediately before that, he has nothing taped ot his head.  It's just magically there with tons of tape applied to it.  This is something that would have taken time to do, but in the movie, it happens instantly as if done by magic.  Then in the next shot, he's not wearing it.  It just goes to show you that they just filmed a bunch of crap and then hastily edited all together without any real sense of story or continuity.  They just don't care.

The only highlight is Pacino playing and even more over the top version of himself.  He's kind of funny, but even then it starts to wear thin as the movie goes on.  It's not like it's enough to recommend seeing the film.

This entire movie is a giant eye roll.  It's unfunny and surprisingly mean spirited.

0 (out of 5) Death Stars - Don't watch it.  Ever!  F-You Sandler!


Footloose

I knew I was in for cheese when the opening scene features a party of kids singing "Footloose".  It really kind of takes you out of the movie when the characters are singing the song made famous by the original.  It's like they were all aware of the fact they were in a movie, but without truly being meta.  It just didn't feel genuine at all.

Even though there was no need to do a remake of Footloose, it doesn't really bug me that they did.  With the popularity of stuff like Glee, you knew a remake was coming eventually.

It's pretty much the exact story as the original from what I recall of it, just with updated dance numbers and set pieces.  I was actually surprised there wasn't more dancing in it, or they didn't try to crowbar a singing performance from one of the actors.  They did a lot of updates and remixes of the original songs though.  Again, it felt weird to have so many references to the original, when it's likely most people watching this haven't seen it.

Watching the remake made me realize how silly this story is and doesn't translate to modern times.  They are rebelling against a law regarding dancing in public.  Dancing, in general, is not illegal.  Just dancing in public within city limits.  So you have a car right?  Just drive somewhere else when you want to dance..  Most people go to bars or clubs out of town to dance anyway.  Hell, they do this in the movie, when a group of them goes to a local country bar.  I have friends that consistently drive 30-40 miles out of their way to go dancing at The Saddle Rack or in San Francisco.  This really all just seems like a non-issue.

Kevin Bacon's character is played by Kenny Wormald.  I didn't mind him, but he seems like kind of a dork.  While he's no Kevin Bacon as far as charisma, he sure can dance though.  I'll give him that.  The love interest, played by Julianne Hough, I actually thought was kind of annoying.

I didn't hate Footloose, but I didn't think it a necessary remake or did anything to make you want to watch it over just watching the original.

2 (out of 5) Death Stars - It's not the worst thing to rent, but again, there's nothing here that's going to make you forget the original.


Like Crazy

Ah, young love.  It can make you so stupid.  Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones

This is one of those movies that irritates me because the whole reason for the main conflict in their relationship is something that could have easily been avoided.  She was warned by her family and even Yelchin's character didn't want her to overstay her visa.  But against everyone's better judgement, she does it anyway and now has to deal with the consequences.

Also, once they are apart long enough you see that both Yelchin and Jones were fooling around with other people.  When it's clear they have other options, I just didn't see anything in their relationship that was better than who they were currently with.  Especially, in the case of Yelchin's character, who had Jennifer Lawrence (bring on The Hunger Games!) all over him.

Oh, minor spoiler, they do get married at one point in an effort to use it as a loophole around the visa issue.  What's funny is that after the get married, they go from super in love to a bickering married couple in what feels like a day.

I thought movie was kind of drawn out and boring.  Even in the beginning, I though their relationship was too cute and annoying.  Plus there were too many music montages of them hanging out.  I really don't like that kind of stuff in romantic dramas.  The movie really would have benefit from any kind of humor in it.

2 (out of 5) Death Stars - If hipsterish dramas are your thing, then I think you might like it.  Otherwise, I say pass.

Really busy week for DVD releases, so quick recaps of stuff coming out today.  There are some real gems this week.


The Adventures of Tintin

I wrote in my original review that I was disappointed that this was too much of a kids film.  I thought the humor catered too much to a young demographic when I felt this movie could have had a broader appeal to it, especially when you consider it's a Steven Spielberg/Peter Jackson movie.

It does have a great soundtrack though and animation was pretty great.  There are some impressive action sequences.  I just felt it was a little lacking.

I gave this 2.5 Death Stars originally, and I'm still in that 2.5-3.0 Death Star range.  It's a good family rental.  It's the kind of thing you could totally plop your kids in front of the TV and let them watch it without worry.


My Week with Marilyn

I really adored this movie and thought Michelle Williams was great.  She deserved her Golden Globe win and I was pulling for her to win the Oscar.  It didn't happen though.

As for the movie, I strongly recommend it.  Even if you weren't a big fan of Marilyn Monroe, I think it's a cute movie and is worth watching for the performances of Williams and Kenneth Branagh.

Incidentally, I still haven't had a chance to watch The Prince and the Showgirl.  It has been at the top of both my Netflix and Blockbuster queues since the day I saw My Week with Marilyn, and it's been in "Very Long Wait" status in both queues the entire time.  I guess I'm not the only person trying to catch up on this one.

I gave this 4 Death Stars in my original review and I stand by that rating.  It's a strong rental recommendation and it's a movie I eventually plan on picking up once the price drops a little.


Young Adult

Here's another movie I really enjoyed.  It's funny and a little dark.  I think Charlize Theron and Patton Oswalt both gave fantastic performances, but were snubbed when it came to getting nominated for anything.  In particular, I think Patton Oswalt would have been more deserving than Jonah Hill's nomination for Moneyball.


I'm a little surprised to see that I only gave this 3.5 Death Stars in my original review.  Upon reflection, this seems like something I would have given 4 Death Stars too, as it was one of my favorite films of the year.

It has a great screenplay from Diablo Cody and I think Jason Reitman is one of my new favorite directors.  I highly recommend this as a rental if you like darker comedies.  I plan on buying this soon.

Melancholia

I don't know why, but this review has more hits than any other post I've made.  I'm not sure why, as I bet most people have never even heard of this movie.

Anyway, this is one of those movies that you could categorize as a good movie that you'll never want to watch again.  You can pretty much say that about any Lars von Trier movie though.  It's a well-acted, quasi-sci-fi movie about a woman's struggle with depression.  That alone might turn most off from seeing it.  It's well over two hours long, so I can see why many would not be interested in it or not be able to get though it.

It does feature Kirsten Dunst's best performance as an actor, and as I have pointed out, her first nude scene.  Oh, maybe that's why the old review has so many hits.  People searching for 'Kirsten Dunst nude'.  Oh man...

I did give this a Death Star rating as this was done before I started that system, so I'd probably give this 3.5 Death Stars.  I say it's worth a rental, but again, it's definitely not for everyone.

The Descendants

This is an easy movie to recommend, as this was one of my top five favorite films of 2011.  With all the Golden Globe and Oscar nominations, I'm sure most of you have heard of this by now or have watched it.

I can't recommend it enough though.  I called it 'an almost perfect movie' in my original review.  I might have been on a little bit of a 'movie high' when I wrote that, but I still feel very strongly about how much I loved it and this is another one I'll be adding to my movie collection soon.

This is another one I reviewed before I started giving Death Stars.  I bet I would have given this 5 Death Stars back then.  I'll stand by that.  I strongly recommend that you rent it.

The Three Musketeers

I hate to end on a bad note, but that's just the way it worked out this week.  I called this movie a mess in my original review and recall almost walking out after 15-20 minutes.  I eventually kind of warmed up to it and I thought it had some okay action sequences, but it's not terribly interesting.  If this has been something I rented instead of seeing it in the theater, I might have liked it a little more.

It's directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, who I still think is a hack director that is basically a slight upgrade from Uwe Boll.  Anderson manages to get bigger budgets and he's married Milla Jovovich, so that usually means he'll crowbar her in the movie somewhere.

If you're up for a dumb, popcorn flick, then this wouldn't be a bad rental on a rainy day.  Just don't expect too much from it.

1.5 Death Stars

Silent House - Movie Review

Okay, quick review tonight.  I got back from seeing Silent House a few hours ago and wanted to write about it while my thoughts were fresh.

Silent House is about Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen), her Father and Uncle.  They are fixing up an old house they own for future sale.  After her Uncle takes off to pick up some supplies, Sarah starts to hear crazy noises in the house and cannot find her Father.  It's clear after a bit, that she's definitely not alone in the house.  To help sell the premise, they establish at the beginning that the power in the house does not work and all of the windows have been boarded up due to squatters breaking into the house.  Additionally, it's a very old house, so the doors can be key locked from the inside.  So based on that, it's easier to accept that other people might be in the house and she cannot get out.

The cool thing about Silent House is that it's presented in a 'single shot' format.  This basically means you watch the entire movie in a 'single take' from only one camera.  There aren't any alternate camera angles and they never cut away to action happening elsewhere.  The camera basically follows Sarah from beginning to end.  From a technical aspect this is a really neat thing and it's done really well.  It also helps add to the claustrophobic feeling of the movie.  Every time the camera pans, you tense up thinking something is going to be around the corner or behind Sarah.  They nailed that aspect.

Speaking of the house, despite that this is called Silent 'House', a more appropriate title should have been called Silent 'Mansion'.  This house is HUGE!   It continues to expand as the movie goes on and at times the house seems like a maze.  It's also not a very 'silent' movie, so maybe they should have called it 'The Occasionally Loud Mansion'.  They probably would have had a harder time pitching that title though.

The other really good thing about Silent House is Elizabeth Olsen's performance.  She totally carries the film and is really the only thing worth watching the film for.  You have to wonder about the Olsen family as it seems that all of the looks, the acting talent and boobs all found their way to Elizabeth, rather than her older, twin sisters.  They must hate her for that.  I love her though.  Between this and Martha Marcy May Marlene, I really think Elizabeth Olsen is a future superstar.

There are a few irritating things that Sarah does during the movie that are the typical mistakes someone makes in a horror film.  This might frustrate you when you notice them.  It doesn't have anything to do with the performance as much as it's just stuff you get irritated with that people in horror films do.

The main problem with Silent House is that they give you plenty of clues as to what's going on early in the movie.  If I mention what they are, then it'll totally spoil the movie, so I won't do that.  You'll start to come to your own conclusions about halfway through.  I had eliminated the possibilities down to about three things by that point of the movie.  Even still, the eventual conclusion feels really awkward and disappointing.  I heard many grumbles form the audience as they were walking out about how stupid they thought it was.  I will say that the end is not as insulting as something like The Devil Inside, but it's just really clumsy on how they wrapped it up.

Another reason why I'm disappointed is what the writer and co-director Laura Lau, along with co-director Chris Kentis, were also the team behind Open Water, which is a movie I really did like.  Then again anything featuring sharks tends to affect me way more than other types of horror.  Again, I think they got the tone and technical aspects of the movie right, I just think they should have worked harder on the ending.

Oh and the whole 'inspired by true events' thing?  I'm going to call BS on that part.  Unless they are saying the fixing up of the house for resale part was true.  If so...assholes!

Silent House gets by on the creepy, claustrophobic vibe is sets.  I just wish the payoff would have been worth it. This is a good example of a movie that would work much better watching at home with all the lights off and the surround sound turned up.  It bums me out because a better ending would have put Silent House over the top.  Instead, it wastes a great performance from Elizabeth Olsen and ends up being a middle of the road horror film.

2.5 (out of 5) Death Stars

Project X - Movie Review

I reluctantly went to see Project X last weekend.  I'm not a big fan of all of these remakes of older films.  I always liked the old Matthew Broderick, Helen Hunt movie.  I really wasn't prepared to see a remake of it.  So, I'm watching this movie, I'm about 15 minutes into it and I'm getting confused because there's not a monkey to be found anywhere.  It's just a bunch of teens planning a party.  What is this?  Is this a prequel about Matthew Broderick's character?

Okay, I'm kidding obviously.  I was reluctant to see Project X though.  From the trailer all you see are some teens doing stupid stuff at an out of control party, a midget and bad music.  Really not my thing.  I almost talked myself out of going, as I was having a good time flirting (unsuccessfully, mind you) with my waitress at The Hopyard.  The movie theater was on my way home though, and there was a convenient show time, so I figured what the hell.

I actually don't have much to say about the movie as far as the story.  There's not much to it and the commercials and trailers tell you pretty much everything you need to know.  A small group of teens decide to throw a birthday party when the birthday boy's parents are out of town.  I did think it was a little unusual that the parents left town the weekend of their son's birthday.  Granted when you're in high school, you relish the times your parents leave town for the weekend, so maybe that was part of their gift to him.  Still, I thought it was a little weird, and maybe even a little irresponsible on the parent's part.

The characters are your typical archetypes for high school comedies:

- The birthday boy, Thomas (Thomas Mann).  He's the nice, sweet kid.
- JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown), the token overweight, goofy guy
- Costa (Oliver Cooper), the ringleader.  He's really the only unlikeable one, but at the same time, if they didn't have him, you get the feeling that the other two would never get out of the house.  It's more that he's a little arrogant (what teen isn't?) and lacks tact.
- Alexis (Alexis Knapp), the über hot unattainable girl...or is she?
- Kirby (Kirby Bliss Blanton), the cute girl next door that's Thomas' best friend, but also has a crush on.  He eventually screws things up with her.
- The jock that seems to pick fights with the main characters for no other reason that he's a jock and therefore supposed to be an asshole.

I thought I wasn't going to like the characters, but I thought they were pretty typical high school kids.  They really don't develop their personalities much in the movie, so I didn't have much of an opinion about them.  The characters, and story elements, are all pretty cliched.  Thomas even has a hot mom.  That's never been an element of teen comedies.  The only guy you really have a strong opinion about is Costa.  As I stated earlier, he might be a little overbearing, but I think his heart was in the right place.  He probably could use a good smacking at some point though.

Anyway, once the party starts it quickly escalates and gets out of control.  The party itself is truly the main character and is the reason you're watching the movie.  It continues to get crazier and crazier and I wanted to see where it was going to go next.  Of course, it's not realistic it at all, but it's not meant to be.  It's party porn.  Although, I did feel a little dirty at times due to all of the 'teen' nudity (only that the actresses aren't actually teens).  That element was a little too Girls Gone Wild for me.

One thing I did like was that they do actually show the aftermath and consequences of the party.  I think the movie might have bugged me a little more if they had just blown off that part at the end.

I thought I was going to be the cranky guy yelling at the kids to get off my lawn, but then I realized that I've thrown my own parties that have gotten noise complaints before midnight.  I have a few friends that always throw great, elaborate parties.  Nothing crazy like this, but maybe I was able to identify with the movie a little more than I initially expected to.

As tired as I am getting of movies shot in found footage style, I think that's what helped sell Project X.  I don't think I would have bought into it if this was just a normal, teen comedy.  There's just not enough character development to carry it compared to a movie like Superbad.

I think first time director Nima Nourizadeh did a decent enough job here.  It's not like there's much going on in the story or acting that direction would have changed how the movie came out.  It's kids at a party.  How much direction do they need?  "Act wild and yell!"  "Here, drink this!"  I'm a little more surprised to see that Michael Bacall co-wrote Project X, as he also co-wrote Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

For a movie I thought I was going to hate, I ended up actually liking Project X.  Don't get me wrong, it's irresponsible and there's nothing redeeming about it.  However, there are lots of funny elements and I caught myself laughing more than I want to admit.  Perhaps I was aided by the amount of alcohol I had before watching the movie, but isn't any party made more fun by alcohol?  If you do go see it, I do recommend having a couple of cold ones and going with some friends.

...no monkeys were harmed in the making of this review.

3 (out of 5) Death Stars

This Week in DVD - March 6th

I've been a little lazy with my movie reviews lately.  I not sure what it is: my mood, the alignment of Venus and Jupiter (still both visible this week), getting my period.  I just haven't been all that motivated to write.  If you're someone that actually enjoys reading my reviews, I apologize for that.  I guess everyone needs a break, even from a hobby.


The Big Year


This was kind of unusual to watch.  Not in a 'this movie was weird' sense, but more that 'this movie was not at all what I thought it was going to be' sense.  You've got a pretty good comedic cast with Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson.  Even the supporting characters are played by people like Joel McHale, Kevin Pollak and Rashida Jones.  I'm watching this movie and waiting for something funny to happen.  I started to think this is one of the un-funniest comedies ever made.  Then, I came to the realization that this is not a comedy at all.  It's more of a family drama.

Basically, it's about bird watching.  Yes, bird watching.  A "Big Year" refers to people taking a year to try and see as many different types of birds as humanly possible.  This is something that actually happens.  It's a real thing that people actually do.  Anyway, the current "Big Year" record holder is played by Owen Wilson, who's kind of  the superstar, hot shot bird watcher the others are gunning for.  At the same time, two other enthusiasts (Martin and Black) also decide to do a Big Year to top the current record.

Here's where it felt like it could have been a comedy, where you have Owen Wilson playing this arrogant person who's actually actively trying to sabotage the other bird watchers to ensure he stays on top.  It felt like there were opportunities to play this for laughs, but they never really go there.  Instead, you get more family moments that show they are all basically nice people (even Wilson's character is hard not to like), and it's not meant to be funny.  If they had tried to throw a lot of jokes in here, I think it would have all felt forced.

I also think the trailer is a little misleading where it features one (fake) looking scene of a girl getting attacked by a swarm of birds and it appears they did it for laughs.  However, even in the context of the movie, that scene really isn't all that funny and not as slapstick as it appeared in the trailer.  I have to wonder if the people that make these trailers actually watch the movie first.  Granted, I know many times that's not possible as the movie isn't finished when the trailer is being created, but maybe they should work with the director a little more to find out what the movie is about.

Overall, The Big Year is a little long, but I actually kind of enjoyed it.  I think if you go in understanding that it's not a comedy, and more of a nice, family drama, it'll probably be a little easier to get through.  It thought it was a sweet movie that's helped by having a good cast.

3 (out of 5) Death Stars


Beneath the Darkness

After like the first five minutes, I thought I was really going to like this.  The beginning of the movie opens with Dennis Quaid acting crazy and killing a guy for an unexplained reason. I was like, "Cool!  Dennis Quaid is a psycho killer!"

Then, the movie then fast forwards two years and focuses on a group of four teens (Aimee Teegarden and a bunch of forgettable dudes).  You know how they generally cast actors much older than they are playing, especially when dealing with teens?  Well, maybe it was the lighting, but I swear one of these guys had grey hair on his temples.

Anyway, one night they are bored and say they know where you can see a ghost.  They go to Dennis Quaid's house where they see a silhouette of him dancing with someone. As they know Dennis Quaid to be single, a few of them insist it was a ghost he was dancing with. It couldn't be that the guy actually had a date or anything like that, cause that would be...you know...crazy!  The stupid teens go back a few nights later and break into his house even know they know he's home at the time.  Why did they think this was a good idea?  What are they trying to accomplish here?  To make matters worse, they proceed to make a ton of noise once inside the house.  Just stupid behavior, you know.

Not surprisingly, Quaid discovers the kids and this kicks off a chain of laughable events and murders. This is one of those movies that fails because you really don't like the teens at all from the get go, so you actually root for the killer.  I want him to kill these stupid teens.

The acting isn't very good and the dialog is terrible in spots.  It was nice to see Quaid playing against type though.  That's probably the only thing noteworthy about it.


1 (out of 5) Death Stars - Pass.  Not worth your time.


The Big Bang

Not to be confused with the similarly titled, bad TV show on CBS.  This was an interesting movie for me.  It stars Antonio Banderas as a private investigator.  The movie opens with him being interrogated by three cops played by Delroy Lindo, William Fichtner and Thomas Kretschmann.  As Banderas is telling his story to the cops, it continues to get more complex and out there.

He was hired by a boxer recently released from prison (Kurrgan from the WWE) to find his former, stripper girlfriend.  As the story goes on, you find that many people are looking for this girl as she knows the location of a large cache of diamonds the boxer had her hide.

Banderas' investigation leads him to cross paths with bizarre and interesting people as he discovers more about the story.  The movie continues to get weirder as it goes on until it all builds to its conclusion.

The thing that really made The Big Bang cool for me is that this ends up being a very geeky, film noir movie.  It might be a little too wordy, convoluted and arty for many though.  If you're physics geek, I think you'll really dig all the references to it.  I enjoyed it for those elements, but I could see many tuning out and going, 'WTF is this?'

3 Death Stars - Good rental for all the nerds (I say that lovingly) out there.


OSS 117:  Cairo, Nest of Spies and OSS 117: Lost in Rio

For those of you who were first introduced to Jean Dujardin, Bérénice Bejo and director Michel Hazanavicius by The Artist, allow me to point you to some other movies they've been in. I actually saw these about a year ago and and it was the main reason why I was initially interested in seeing The Artist once I knew the same people were involved. 

The OSS series are a parody of spy films set in the 60's.  Jean Dujardin stars as French secret agent OSS 117.  While his outward appearance is as cool and charming as Sean Connery's 007, you quickly find out that Agent OSS 117, is a bit of an ass.  He's oftentimes clueless, racist, sexist and lacks tact.  Despite all this, he always manages to save the day and still get the girl though.

This first in the series, Cairo, Nest of Spies, also stars his The Artist costar (and Hazanavicius' wife) Bérénice Bejo.  The second, Lost in Rio, is just the further adventures of OSS 117 (sans Bejo this time).  I really hope there's a third movie planned.  I really can't say which one is better than the other.  I think they are both hilarious.

Despite these movies being made in 2006 and 2009, the series really nails the feel of the old 60's spy films.  The movies are totally politically incorrect, but that's what I love about them.  You might initially be a little surprised at some of the things OSS 117 casually says, but then you have to wonder, "Didn't a lot of people say and think things like that back then?"  I think it's one of the appeals of Mad Men.  At least that's what initially drew me in to that show.

If there's anything negative I can say about them, it's simply that the movies are in French and subtitled.  The humor totally comes though and you'll see why Dujardin is such a great talent and comedic actor.  The series is like a mashup of 007, The Pink Panther, The Naked Gun and Austin Powers.
 
Anyway, I give both of these movies 4.5 Death Stars and have watched them several times each. I notice subtle jokes with each viewing.  Then again, I think it helps to watch a subtitled movie multiple times, as you don't have to focus so much on the story and reading the subtitles with subsequent views.

They are both streaming on Netflix, so check them out while you still can.

This scene is from Cairo, Nest of Spies, and just kills me every time.





Notable movies released on DVD last week.  If you're interesting in buying any of these movies, you can always get them on Amazon.  If you click through my link below when going to Amazon, they throw a little love back my way.





Hugo

I kind of keep going back and forth on this one.  Part of me wants to say that it's a great, beautifully shot movie featuring the best 3D outside of Avatar (which it is), and then part of me wants to go that it's an slightly uneven and overrated movie.  I heard someone the other day say it was great movie for kids, and I still don't agree with that.  Not at least for kids under 10.  It's long and I don't think the second half of the movie would interest most kids.  Like kids know who Georges Méliès is.  Hell, most adults don't know who he is.  It's more for cinefiles and I think that's why Hollywood was so ga-ga over it.  Well, that and it's a Scorsese film.

Don't get me wrong though, I did like the story and I do think it's worth watching.

4 Death Stars - You can read the original review here.


I Melt With You

I was recently asked if there was a movie I've given 1 or less Death Stars to.  I Melt With You this is one of them.  I thought this was a piece of shit movie.  It's basically about a bunch college buddies that get together one week out of the year and do a ton of a drugs.  These guys are all pretty much douche bags.  After another night of drinking and drugs, one of of the guys kills himself over guilt of something from his past. The remaining guys then struggle with killing themselves because of some weird, barely explained suicide pact they all made together back in college.  Never mind that these guys had families, kids, etc.  Let's all kill each other over some stupid college pact.  If you want to read more about it, and I can't imagine why you would, you can read my original review here.

.5 Death Stars - It really is a terrible movie that I struggled to get through.  I recommend you skip it.



Coming out on DVD today:


The Skin I Live In

This is a movie that the more I think about it, the more I like it.  It's another foreign film, so that may turn many of you off.  It's actually kind of difficult to describe without spoiling the whole movie. The movie is graphic, weird and creepy, but I loved how this movie managed to mash up so many different elements (horror, thriller, sci-fi) into a single movie and make it all work.  It's been described as 'an art-house Human Centipede' and I still that's that's pretty accurate. There are some great twists that managed to catch me by surprise.

I actually think this movie was totally snubbed for best foreign film.  I do not understand how this didn't even get nominated.


In my initial review, I gave this 3.5 Death Stars, but this is one of those movies that I'm thinking about bumping up to 4 Death Stars on further reflection.  I think I'll need to watch it again before I do that though.

I strongly recommend renting it if you think you can handle it.  It's definitely not for everyone.



Immortals

This isn't a great movie, but the visuals and some of the action are fantastic.  I'm actually looking forward to watching this again on my 3D TV.  I really don't have much to say about it again.  The story isn't anything special and it's actually kind of boring when there's no action going on.  I thought the cast was fine for the most part.

Weird, I didn't give it a Death Star rating in my original review.  This is one of those movies that's in the 2.5-3 Death Star range.  If you like movies like 300, Clash of the Titans, etc., then I think it's worth a rental.

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie - Movie Review

I have to admit that I'm really not all that familiar with Tim and Eric.  I've never seen their show on Adult Swim and have only seen a handful of clips on YouTube (the Steve Brule stuff with John C. Reilly is hilarious).  Having said that, I really don't have an opinion of these guys one way or another, so I went into Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie with an open mind. 

Having said that, Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie is just plain terrible.  Normally, I don't have problems spoiling bad movies by bringing up major plot points, but with this movie there's nothing to spoil, especially anything particularly funny.  I have a feeling that if you're a Tim and Eric fan, you're probably not going to like what I'm about to say here and think that I'm just a cranky old man (trust me, I'm getting there).

Basically, it starts with Tim and Eric showing a movie they made where they managed to squander a billion dollars in the process of making it.  The movie is a complete disaster, so the producers (Robert Loggia and William Atherton) want their money back.  Tim and Eric go on the run to avoid these guys and then get a job running a decrepit mall (think worse than the 'dirt mall' from Mallrats).  They are hired by the mall owner (Will Ferrell in just about the only funny part of the movie), who has promised that running the mall will make them a billion dollars.  Sounds hilarious, right?  That's pretty much the whole story.  From that point on it just sets up one bad joke after another.

Do I really need to point out the irony of making a bad movie where main characters are in trouble for making a bad movie.  Life imitating art, eh?  I've been told that Tim and Eric's stuff is intentionally bad.  Well, you can be bad and still be funny.  I don't mind dumb or absurd comedy if it's done well.  If you're a Tim and Eric fan, I don't want to hear any shit about how I didn't get it because I'm not familiar with their other work.  This was actually something that came up when discussing another movie recently.  If you make a movie, unless it's a sequel, it shouldn't require that I've seen other works by the same person in order to get it.  It should stand on it's own, otherwise it's just a shameless cash grab from your existing audience.  That's one of the reasons why the Sex in the City movies are so awful.  Also, I think about the South Park guys.  They've done live action movies that were just as silly, crude and inappropriate, yet tons funnier.  Like I said, it is possible to play dumb or bad and still be funny.

Outside of the Will Ferrell sequence mentioned earlier, this movie got barely an amused 'heh' out of me and those were mainly the times that Tim and Eric broke the fourth wall.  I spent most of the time going 'that's disgusting' or 'that's dumb!'  It just got worse as it wore on.  For example, there's a scene where Eric is sitting in a bathtub while four boys shit on him as some weird form of therapy.  There's a 'sex' scene featuring a blow up doll and many dildos.  Are these the type of antics that are typical Tim and Eric's shtick?  The stuff that has gained them a loyal fan base?  I don't get it.

I feel bad for the people they got to be in this.  You have guys like Jeff Goldblum, Will Forte, Ray Wise, Robert Loggia, and William Atherton in this.  I'll always remember Atherton for being jerks in movies like Die Hard, Real Genius and Ghostbusters.  He's too good for this.  I practically forgot Zack Galifianakis was in the movie.  John C. Reilly is particularly bad here.  I kept waiting for him to show up at Steve Brule, but instead he plays some weird guy named 'Taquito' that just coughs his way through the movie.  It's a shame to see great actors and comedians wasted like this.  The sad part is I really wanted to like the movie when I first heard about it and saw who was going to be in it.  I don't blame the actors; it's what they are given to work with that's bad.

Like many SNL movies, the material seems like sketches that work well in 10-15 minute segments, but don't when stretched into a full-length film.  If this was your first experience with Tim and Eric, I would imagine you'd never want to see them again.  This movie isn't going to get them any new fans.  It feels like a movie made by a bunch of kids that would be really funny to them and their friends, but that people outside of their circle will not find funny.  I think the 13-year-old version of me would have thought it was really funny, but the 38-year-old me did not.   

Look, I can keep ranting about this movie, but what's the point?  It clearly wasn't made for me.  It was made for existing fans of Tim and Eric and that's fine.  If you're one of these people, go out and watch it.  I'm sure you'll enjoy it.  For everyone else though, I cannot recommend it on any level. 

1 (out of 5) Death Stars - .5 is for Will Ferrell and .5 is for the rest of cast out of respect.

Oh, and just to show that I don't completely hate these guys.  Here's one of the Tim & Eric clips from YouTube that I have enjoyed.